The Problem of Sex and Needs

Sex tends to obscure the divisions of intimacy in more complicated ways. This is seen in lust. Lust, the desire sex, may be confused with healthy desires for other forms of intimacy. The spirit and the flesh are at war with each other by setting up conflicting desires. The deceitful heart will set up lies so that one is left feeling empty and disillusioned when one tries to fulfil the need wrongly with sex and the need remains unfulfilled. Sex is not a solution. Relationships often are.

The actual needs and desires may be: closeness (physical non-sexual), anxiety/anger/boredom/tired/drained/loneliness (emotional/intellectual), idolatry (spiritual), and of course there is also real lust(sexual). The list is not short or exhastive.

The solution and virtue set up against lust in the Bible is self-control. It is not specifically pursuing chastity. That is good but it is really the natural result of self-control. As strange as it sounds, lust comes down to self-control of most of one's desires. Many people think it is just their sexual desire that needs controlling or fixing. Humans are more than just sexual creatures but sexuality is also integrated into who we are. I am just starting to see that lust is multi-faceted in origin.

Lust has a way of finding friends for a one night fling among your desires. Taking them out and having their way with em. Sexual desire alone is a much smaller beast to tame. We need to know what the other desires are in the fight before we can effectively control lust. These other repressed desires may have other outlits which we aught not neglect. Namely God and healthy relationships/friendships that we shouldn't be missing out on in the confusion.

Finally, Christ is a solution to many of the problems. He is our rightful husband. Marriage and most of its corresponding intimacy may be fulfilled in Christ. Yet, not necessarily Christ alone. I disagree with Paul's opinion on celebacy at least for myself. I personally know that I need others in my life. I believe this will include a wife in the future.

ps. I wish to return to talking about Christ on my blog. I have spent too much time thinking about myself. Far too much.