Confession of No Expectations

Ok, there is a spring break trip coming up for me. Fortunately, God has been working overtime in my life recently. This has slowed down for my good. Too much drama but its ok for now. The 4 1/2 month rollarcoaster has ended in a good spot. There have been several weeks that have felt better than past spring break trips to the beach with my church. Everything in my life is slowly falling into place. Nothing is left out.

With this said, I really don't have any expectations about what will be going on for this spring break trip. Furthermore, I also don't believe anything can be blown out of the water by it in comparison to past events. So I am left with no expectations. Nothing that God isn't already doing. It is bugging me. I don't know what I should expect. I've been to 3 of these things before. I already know that I will invest in some relationships. I know that I will have times of undistracted devotion. Yet, it won't glorify God in meeting these low expectations alone. That makes me a little sad. It is as though I do not know how to pray about it. God is too great for such.

Friends and Idolatry

What is interesting though is I have the ability to enjoy friends much more. As well as being discontent with em. I am very optimistic about this point in life. Yet, there is two ends that this can be done. Godward or selfishly. I think one way will be to make more sacrifices in myself and magnify God more often for it.

I will be pursuing love brotherly and otherwise. I really need to expand that outward more and more.

Confession of Friends Being Idols

Ok, its pretty much true now. I can feel that it is getting in the way of me worshipping God. Nothing should do that. I am sitting here very discontent. Yeah, practically crying. People shouldn't have that kind of power over me or my moods. I am afraid that I will be discontent living alone. I am afraid that I will feel like I have no friends.

Ok, the deal is that I've let an important housing decision go by. It is out of my hands and all I can do is wait. I am close to being critical of others for being indecisive. I use to be the king at that; that is hypocrisy. Essentially, I feel I have waited far too long on the best decision. Now, the good and safe one is almost gone. I think I will be left with crap its a 50/50 dice role. We'll see how it all turns out.