Confession of Limerance

Ok, I have to confess. I have seen limerance at work in different areas of my life. I could not think of a good word to describe this. Not necessarily infatuation. Or man crushes per se, but potentially ones. It falls in the same area of seeing things that might not be there. Or these things may be there, sometimes but not to the same degree as I thought they were. There are a few cases of this.

First, I was friends with one of my present roomates because I thought he was like me but had some traits that I wish I had. He is very assertive and extraverted but at the same time he is different than I thought. Still cool but different.

Second, I became friends with someone else over facebook only cause he seemed like he was perhaps something I could have been if I made different choices regarding my abilities. (Or expressed some of my latent abilities.) I have since meet him in person at church. I can't say I was really disappointed... Yet, he was very different from me in many areas. I think he had some limerance with respect to me also. I haven't called him out on it though. We are both pretty much intellectuals/deep thinkers to some degree. Maybe that was what he was looking for in friendship. He's cool but I haven't really spent much time with him.

Finally, I have to confess that one of my best friends has a personality like my little bro. I can hang with my little bro pretty easily at home. Still trying to figure if it is limerance. It seems real though. He's fun to hang with even if we don't do anything. I think he is in some ways one of my friends ordained by God. Cuz somehow we ended up in like every group together in church. This is the closest to a man crush that I have. What is funny is he might be one of the few that reads this blog some time. Ha ha ha. Ooops. Maybe I shouldn't have said this. Awkward turtle it up in our accountability then... woouuoo woouuoo wooot.... (We can address my immaturity later too.) Nah, it isn't that bad. Just use to seeing him like every other day for this whole semester. Now that isn't happening cause finals and school recently. So i thought to include it here.

The problem with limerance is that it is not real. It looks for some return. It looks for some validation or it dies down. It is not inherently bad but it is not real. I just hope my friendships go deeper and stay real without it. I like keeping it real in more ways than one.

I don't think my limerance was a form of narcisism. I can hang with other people fine; it is just easier to make friends with people similar to you. And be drawn to those people. I don't think that highly of myself. Furthermore, my limerance appears to be different that than what I want in real love/friendships. I know for a fact that in Romantic relationships, I look for something very different than myself. The way I look at limerance is that it is a different kind of infatuation that I need to be particularly careful about as to not confuse it with the starts of real friendship or real love.