A Confession of Indecision

I have thought about Grad school. I have been judging motives. They are mixed at best. I don't like having mixed motives. This is to say that I have been indecisive. I have not tried to presume upon God though. So much so that I have forgotten all about him in some ways.

This verse has helped me immensely:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Oh, I am seeing so much truth to this statement. Oh, the Lord seared it into my heart. How did I forget it from past experiences?

I spent some time today reading its context in Jeremiah 29. It is the Babylonian exile. It was the plan to bring them out. It was miraclous in that the temple got rebuilt. They left with more than they had gone in with. They went in as slaves and left with possessions and freedom. God told the people to build their houses in exile and find that their welfare is tied to the world's. He told them not to decrease. Some of this is engaging culture. Some of it is issues within secular life. Some of this applies to salvation in general. I don't think this is a calling for me to live out secular life though for he laters calls men out of exile. (Marriage, Ministry, heaven ect.) The holy spirit is indicating that it applies to my college and career pretty thoroughly.

Yet, I am still perplexed about the ending. "I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile." I am not sure if this means that my career in engineering will not be where I end up. Or my present location is not where I end up. My spirit is leaning towards the former with regards to my education. God is blessing me in certain areas. Either way, I am increasingly feeling called to put down more roots here in relationships. I am increasingly called to judge success in my endeavors outside of my classes.