Hope in circumstances

I see some hope in my circumstances. Maybe that is because I'm growing up (after some arrested developement) and getting past my problems. I still have to connect this new self to God's providence in my mind because he has been really active recently. It is a hope that needs to be further rooted into the Gospel and Christ. He is the steadfast anchor of my soul. I cannot deny that. It is not that I loved God but that he loved me first.

My Insecurities are vanishing quickly and I don't know why. Well... it is because of God and I'm in the way. My anxiety has decreased about different things within the last year. My anxieties still need to decrease further when it comes to shyness and evangelism. I am a little more proactive but it needs more growth.

I need to be the very friend that I didn't have for the longest time to people. That's by telling them the gospel and giving them God. I need to be the very person that understands sin and depravity, just to send people off the way that has hurt me so much. I need to be the very person that understand's the fear of God, he is feared because he forgives. I need to persuade others of that fear.

God has more than stepped up to deal with me as my father and as my friend. He afflicted me with a lack of grace for a time but it was for my good. He has now poured it out. It isn't easier now but I have grace to help with the difficulties. It is much better to be blind and walk straight than to stumble along a difficult path with sight. It is much better to walk by faith.