Contending with my own Berean Spirit

I am having issues with my own willingness to submit, or rather support, teachings I don't see as biblical. I am eager to learn but I don't always agree, especially when it comes to the doctrines regarding that authority. I don't think it is spiritual pride because it is never an issue submitting when I am wrong. It only is an issue when I am right and know that I am right.

Spiritual pride exists without reference to right or wrong though. It exists without reference one being in authority vs. not. It has a more organic source. It exists in reference to humility in being right or wrong, even for leaders. I still have not learned to balance or understand this berean aspect. I find I have disagreements and cannot always be on board for teaching or being teachable since I have formed conclusions.

Let us reason together though, it is not sin. I don't want to be critical for the sake of being critical but I do want to test and hold fast to that which is good.

This shows most drastically in my understanding of ecclesialogy and community. It has started to cause a little bit of sin but the sin isn't in disagreeing and making it known. I see problems in areas like the right use of sacrements (mostly resolved), Worship, covenant theology within the sacrements, lack of a care structure among certain ministries, the support of courtship vs. its reality, and the top-down view of submission without grass roots accountability. (I want a presby.) This last one causes pride to become an issue when I am told to submit to church leaders. Or that leaders submit themselves. Or I must submission to anything. It gets colored in the wrong light of the world and the authoritarian nature that the world places on submission.

Only God is the Lord of my conscience. I can only submit as I see that it is towards the Lord, as those leaders follow the Lord. What do I do when I don't see that though. I am not always in a place to see it either. We all, pastors included, are afflicted by differing degrees of spiritual blindness. Yet, the body of Christ isn't a giant tongue and giant ear either. I guess the only thing I owe towards leaders is love, humility, and an eagerness to test my conviction when I disagree on particulars, not submission against my conscience. Those are the only bonds I have to cultivate.