Things are going my (God's) way.

I am in one of those periods where God has been abundantly gracious to me. He has given me joy and the desires of my heart for godliness. He is kind and I see that His timing is right. I feel that God has withheld certain things from me. These things are very good but at the same time. I can only say that they are good because of God's actions on my behalf. It is now that I see His wisdom. The very wisdom I rejected because I had not seen such great things. I would not be able to enjoy things normal people take for granted without God. It has left a certain hole in my chest. Straight to my heart. God easily breaks in every morning. The older and more mature I become as a Christian the fewer defenses I have to seeing God's goodness. My heart breaks more often not less. He has continued to expose my heart to Himself and the sorrow and joys of His holiness. I wish not to be one who shrinks back in fear or unbelief.

He makes me cry often but usually in a good way. Yes, I cry because of Him. I can't say that I would cry so much for other things. This is a reminder of grace. It is a reminder of God. It is His goodness given to me, past and present. It is His faithfulness that endures beyond my own failures. I can only expect this undeserved grace to continue. I can only expect Him to be as gracious as He has been. God doesn't change. His ways don't change.

I pray that my will may fall more and more in line with His will day by day. Not my will be done but yours, Oh Lord. But I do pray that it goes well with me. That it is agreeable when it does not need to be otherwise. That it is painful only when it creates godliness in me and dependancy on you.

I have a new job, a new car, new great roomates, and pain is going away. I have the ability to enjoy them to. This is from God. Yet, these all mean nothing. They are but icing on the cake. I value the grace from God the most when it comes to fighting sin. I value His wisdom. I value God himself and I am at a loss of words to thank Him.